Nick the fighter...
I have been here before... I wrote a story about my pet rat Ellis who had passed and it was 6 months later that his brother Nick followed.
I hadn't posted a story about Nick as I did for Ellis, the reason being was that this loss was so much different.
When Ellis had passed it was so shocking, he was suppose to be my healthy rat. Nick had always had breathing problems and was never very mobile. Although this may sound sad or mean I always expected Nick to pass first, but Nick was a fighter!
I loved those two so much, they were what calmed me when I was angry, what made me smile when I was sad. People don't understand the love you can have for rats and the love you can receive back from them.
Nicks breathing problem finally cought up with him as he aged. We were at the Vet at least once or twice a month. We had medicine for him and a special diet. Everytime it seemed like he wasn't going to make it he would pull through again. Nick was not going to give up and neither was I.
When he got really sick I remember everyday when I'd get home from work id lay with him for hours he would curl up in my arm and fall asleep.
Everyday was worse for Nick, he would have these "seizures" and the only way to get it to stop was to hold him. He got to the point where it was hard for him to breath and we got this sort of inhaler thing that had medicine for rats in it. That helped for awhile...
My boyfriend and I weren't sleeping at night anymore we were constanley worried about Nick.
One night after finally falling asleep I awoke because I had an awful feeling in my stomach, my boyfriend wasn't next to me which meant he was with Nick. I walked into the next room and my boyfriends eyes were red and Nick was in a blanket on the floor. My boyfriend looked at me and said "I think this is it..."
I burst into tears and sat on the floor next to Nick, he got up with the little strength he had left, he fell into my hand and layed there. I kissed him and told him I loved him and then just like that he was gone.
My heart was completely shattered.
It has been around 7 months since he passed and I still cry. I cry for both of them. I think the pain you feel when you lose a tiny fur babies is so much more intense because they are so small and they depend on you to take care of them and protect them... And I guess when they die you feel scared for them, at least that's how I feel... That's how I still feel. :(
Rest in peace my little solider.
Love always, Mom
"...love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.”
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