Holding Ivy

I remember the first day i got Ivy and her sister Holly naming them like the song for Christmas, she was so small and so beautiful, like exactly how a cute rat should look. she would often curl by my face, her whiskers tickling my cheek. it became an ongoing joke that she was the pretty yet kinda dumb one and her sister was the smart, shy less pretty one (but still gorgeous). Well yesterday she passed away. I watched her die. it was horrible. she had fallen when climbing her cage and didn't land right, we think it may have been a stroke? but anyway she fell and i think she twisted when she fell and broke something in her spine. but i was next to her cage when this happened, I said her name a few times and she looked at me with her little black eyes and reached out her twitching arms to me. it was as though she pleaded for me to come to her. she kept twitching on the floor of her cage. I reached my and into the cage and she went still. i began to cry and i lifted her uup gently onto my hands. She was so soft and silky. i carried her downstairs and i noticed her whiskers twitched, i moved my thumb and felt her heat beat going unbelievably fast. i kept whispering things like it will be okay Ivy. Don't worry hun. I know your in pain but you will be fine soon. I love you.
i came into the lounge and my mum held her we didn't know what to do, i cant remember the next bit i just remember being dazed but then my mum said that she thought she died. Her heart had stopped and her eyes seemed to cloud over. i put my head against her chest and her whiskers tickled my cheek. it made me cry. i cried today in front of my friends. im crying now. i dont think i will ever get over her. i have had pets before but Ivy was special. Her sister Holly looks up at me with big sad eyes when i go in the room, but i dont think she understands what has happened.
I just want her back so much. she would have been about 2 this christmas. This is so painful.

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