To all my beloved rats

by Amanda
(Moncton NB)

I never thought we would own a rat. Ever. I never feared them, just never thought. I bought one for my spouse for her Christmas gift one year because she wanted him because he was alone. I felt bad for him and decided to get him out of the horrible pet store…he was a dumbo rat and he had a injured tail as if they shut the cage on his tail. We brought him home and looked up how to help him with his cut on his tail and over the next couple weeks it began to heal. We named him Turbo…

He was older when we got him, about maybe almost a year. He was so playful and loving. We had him for a while and do to a friend purchasing a smaller rat (the runt of the litter) a hooded rat, and not being able to keep him, we inherited him and called him Blaze. They would play together like brothers. Cuddled together always was there for each other. About almost a year passed and we went to the pet store again and there was 3 other rats that they had for 5 months… no one was interested in them because of their tails..they looked scared.. and were up for adoption because no one wanted them and would have just been left there….

So we adopted..

An albino, and 2 more hooded.

We named them Jax, Axle and Rango..

We always were so loving and gave them 110% of our time.. but as the months passed.. breathing issues started to occur in Turbo.. we brought him to the vet so much and one time he swelled up and we thought it was a allergic reaction… u fortunately not.. the worse was starting.. and then came the open mouth breathing… and we had to make the call..

I died inside… I was completely lost..I took it so hard…

Blaze when we came home and for weeks would start to look for him in a panic.. and there was so many times I fell to my knees crying and saying as sorry to him and he others.. I felt like I failed as a parent…

In time, I healed somewhat but it would never be the same..

Next couple weeks, Blaze began breathing problems.. and once it starts, it’s only a matter of time… then the worst happened.. the open mouth.. and we had to do the same.. I was mortified..
I didn’t want to eat, we would constantly be up every night no sleep making sure they were okay, then they were gone. I failed again..

I prayed for forgiveness.. I prayed that they were okay and that they would forgive me..

Months then passed and Jax, the albino was never very affectionate even though we tried, he would almost bit most of the time.. and started to slow down, and not eat and breathing got heavy.. we rushed him to the vet and by that time it was too late.. he was too far gone that the meds wouldn’t be able to fix him in time.. and again had to make the call.

Now it being months later. A new year. 2016. We were down to 2.

Rango about 3 months ago started with loud breathing noises. We constantly checked and meds galore. But they couldn’t seem to find anything. And Axle wwas fine but was sleeping all the time, they had him on meds but they also believed it might be diabetes..

In 1-2 years… we have spent over 2200$ on all of them.. we didn’t care if we didn’t have the money. We would still try.. these are and always will be our kids..

May 16th 2016..

Axle within 12 hours took a turn for the worse unexpectedly and we believe took 2 seizures and was falling over in the 4 foot cage…
The vet couldnt give us a reason for it but his heart was racing and she believed the was struggling.. and to prevent him falling when not home….

We had to make the call….

Rango is all we have left.. and he was diagnosed before Axle to have cancer.. and given a couple months, not in pain, but we would need to make the call when he stops eating and drinkin.

2200$ over the past 2 years. For all. Even if we didn’t have the money we would get it somehow..

The pain never goes away.. and I will always love them.. forever.. the feeling of failing will never leave for me… but without us, they could have been in a worse place… I love you babies.. you will always be in our thoughts. And we only part to meet again…

I’m sorry… I love you all. And I would never change a thing apart from if love could have saved you all, you would have lived forever..I love you

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